8 November, 2006
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The “Experiential Group” last night was very interesting. After a few minutes got round to being asked how I was after last week’s disclosure. Felt really good. Others commented that I seemed more relaxed and at ease than before. On reflection it did seem like a weight had been lifted. Driving to work this morning discussed this with M. Asked him if he had ever walked for quite a time with a heavy backpack and then taken it off. Whilst carrying the weight, it gets to the point when you don’t noticed the weight too much, but as soon as you put it down your shoulders kind of rise up without the weight, you feel lighter. That is how I’m feeling at the moment. It’s not like the whole backpack has been removed but rather a significant weight has been removed from within the pack. Through counselling more and more weight will be lifted. Reason I’m mentioned this to M was that he mentioned yesterday coming across my blog and had started to read it. I asked how far and he mentioned only the previous two entries. So I had a choice to make. Did I tell him of the abuse or not? Potentially he would read it soon. Decided to tell him. Surprised at how easy it was. Few times in the past have thought about telling the children but never felt quite right. This morning it just seemed completely okay. He seemed okay being told. We talked more intimately than we have for a while. He mentioned some private thoughts and feelings that will remain private and not be put here. This blog concerns my thoughts and feelings, it’s not a family blog 🙂
Hadn’t though thought through about the family reading this blog or of anyone else who knows me. Have tried to keep it anonymous, by only using Christian names or just initials.