As It Is or As I Am – the Art of Becoming

A journey … towards … being

Experiental Group – part 2

Been reflecting on comments made at the Experiential Group this Tuesday – wondering where the conflicted feelings generated in me may have arisen from. Last week I sent an email to all the group (bar P, whose email didn’t have) that appears below. Several people commented it was a nice, thoughtful thing to do, as had expressed concern that all others in the group were okay after all that was revealed, asking ‘I hope last night didn’t cause anyone any “damage’?”. It felt good to be complemented, but conflict came as, at the same time, was equally embarrassed by such attention. So where does that come from? Most theories would say something in childhood? To be explored! The problem with examining one’s childhood is that it involves one’s parents and there is a concern that unpleasant things might be raised, even if not really unpleasant as such, it might still lead to blaming your parents – “you made me like this” – and that I do not want to do. Parenting is so hit and miss – there is no perfect parent. I’m sure that I’ve done things that other parents would not do and likewise expect they’ve done things that I wouldn’t do. Sure, the Church teachings help out a lot, but even so no doubt still make mistakes. The golden rule says “Do unto others as you would have then do unto you” and also “with what judgement ye judge ye shall be judged”. As much as a childhood might need to be explored, how can anyone then really start to do so with ending up judging ones parents? Hopefully this is where the person centred approach comes in, by examining the past, but taking responsibility for oneself now and on into the future.

Indeed, my current memories show a generally good and pleasant childhood in relation to my parents – the only bad part was the abuse, which was outside the family. It is from then on that things get a bit off the “normal” track for several years.


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