As It Is or As I Am – the Art of Becoming

A journey … towards … being

Congruence

Just had a bath. A bath is where I read, meditate and pray. Not the only place I engage in those activities, but whenever I have a bath, it’s used for more than just getting my body clean. Maybe not that I get my mind or spirit clean exactly, but whilst in the bath I do actively use them both. I titled this section “congruence”, as that came foremost whilst in the bath. I was reading “Person-Centred Counselling Training” by Dave Mearns, which in part raised the subject of congruence. Am I congruent? Yes – No. I think on this frequently. As a “committed Christian” (there’s an interesting phrase) there’s seems a paradox to congruence, as I understand the word, in relation to person-centred counselling. A Christian seeks to emulate Christ. Christ was patient, tolerant, loving, and so forth. Am I like that? At times, at times not. Was Christ congruent? Yes, I would say He was/is. Am I? At times, at times not. Yet, if I am congruent then at times I will display emotions that are not Christ-like. Thus the paradox for me a the moment. Though perhaps the word to use is not paradox, but more conflict?

In seeking to emulate Christ who was congruent, as well as being loving at all times, where do I place the emphasis? Congruence or love? If I cannot be both at the same time, is it better to work for full congruence and then work on loving fully? There was a quote from the book mentioned above, this is a summary as I don’t have the book with me now to quote exactly, but it roughly said “… as I allow myself to be congruent and express the bad feelings this allows more room for greater freedom for expression of the good feelings”. If that is so, for all, then congruence would seem to be the better starting place. This is a subject for greater study.

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