As It Is or As I Am – the Art of Becoming

A journey … towards … being

Cruse course journal, feeling's and thoughts

Couple of weeks back started a counselling course with Cruse, the bereavement charity in the UK.

As I think back to last Wednesday evening during a presentation a comment was made by one of the tutors reference the book “Counselling for Toads”, that “Neil, has read it and thinks it’s good”. Now I recognise these are my feelings and have been examining myself to see where they come from. I was a bit concerned at hearing that remark. It made me think, why do or should the others care that I think it’s good? And then there is the bit that I haven’t even actually read it. I made a comment earlier in the evening that I’d looked through it and heard it was good, but not that I myself actually thought it was good. I have actually put this book on my birthday wish list, so in a week’s time may have my own copy 🙂

Have I been speaking too much again? I say again, not so much in a derogatory sense, but that when on a course while some people may find it hard to speak up it doesn’t seem to take me long to feel comfortable speaking up or out. I have a concern though that on occasions I speak too much and this may, instead of encouraging others to speak, actually hinder them doing so?

There was also a comment earlier in the evening made when I was about to make a comment on a question or something that been had said, when the tutor said “Neil, wants to argue with me”, then she quickly retract the “argue” word and replaced it something else.

I hope I am not being seen as someone being awkward? It is very interesting for me to write that last sentence as in most cases I don’t really care too much what others think about me. I don’t go out of my way to offend or upset but if people don’t like what I do or the way “I am”, then I consider that interesting and will look at myself to see why and then decide whether any change or alteration is needed.

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