As It Is or As I Am – the Art of Becoming

A journey … towards … being

4th night at diploma

PD (personal development) may sound weird to anyone not involved in counselling training. The object is to help you become more aware of yourself. So, when sitting with a client I’m more conscious of my feelings and how they affect that relationship. I get to know what pushes my buttons and thus don’t react when they are pushed.

During PD sat there feeling nothing. Supposed to share what we feel. Wondered about saying I didn’t feeling anything. I didn’t speak. Though, is not feeling still a feeling? I think it is, at least in this context. As I stayed with this lack of feeling started to feel a little concerned that there was no real feeling. Surely I should have something going on? Previous weeks there has. Perhaps should have shared that. Did feel frustrated that every time was about to open my mouth someone else did slightly before me. Could have shared that frustration. Need to be a bit bolder and faster 😉 Though that runs a risk of offending. At one point congruence was discussed, leading away from feelings more into theory, until someone led us back to sharing feelings.

If these accounts of the evenings seem short and to not give a full description of all that occurred, its due to confidentiality. Also this blog is relating my feelings, thoughts, etc on my counselling journey. Not anyone elses.

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4 responses to “4th night at diploma

  1. Lucifa 9 February, 2010 at 19:14

    You mentioned that when buttons are being pushed, one can then chose not to react [if one is aware of their buttons] and that made me think about you not feeling anything in your PD… Maybe the fear is that buttons will be pushed hence the shut down of feelings? [to bot react?]

    It is just a thought…

    By the way, Im a counsellor in training too but have taken some time off before I start my diploma. I am currently in psychoanalysis.

    It is great to see another blog that shares about becomeing a counsellor. Keep up the good work 🙂

  2. Lucifa 9 February, 2010 at 19:17

    not ‘bot’! I meant to say ‘not’…
    In other words… hmmm…. because the believe is that you musnt react when someone pushes your buttons, you might get scared to feel anything, incase you will react?

    Not sure if that makes sense.

  3. Neil 10 February, 2010 at 09:30

    Appreciate your thoughts. My initial thought was about not reacting when with a client. But, on reading your comment gives me thoughts as to whether tit id also stopping me from feeling in the group. And also, is there a possibility this may stop me fully empathising with a client, or anybody? Something for me to ponder and meditate on …

    You mention “another blog .. about becoming a counsellor” – do you have one yourself or know of other blogs? I’ve searched but not found too many.

  4. Lucifa 31 March, 2010 at 23:00

    theres a good forum out there for counsellors and counsellors in training http://mutualsupport.englishboards.com/

    x

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